


It's Easier When Someone Loves You

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Smoking, bros hug it out, dirk is 18, trying to quit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 14:29:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13929003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: David tries to quit smoking but he fucks up.





	It's Easier When Someone Loves You

David breathed in, allowing the menthol to trickle down his throat and fill his lungs, warming his chest and easing his nerves. He held it for a precious moment, and his eyes almost watered from how long its been, before slowly exhaling the smoke through his pursed lips. The first drag was always the best. He sat there on the roof under the midday sun, by no means sitting in any sort of special spot; it was just a spot, barely a nook to hide in or an open space to take in the sun. It was by the ledge, just his spot. Or at least it used to be. 3 months without a cigarette was pretty good, right?

Dirk had been pressuring for him to quit for months, and finally 3 months ago he did. Well, guess not anymore. When he stopped cold turkey, people avoided him left and right and it really wasn’t much of a surprise; he got pretty pissy. David was on edge and every second felt like hours, days felt like weeks, noises were too loud, and people were too annoying and such idiots. He felt kind of bad yelling at the folks on set, but even fucking worse whenever he accidentally snapped at Dirk. But Dirk was forgiving, understanding, sure he stood his ground against David and his harsh words, but he also helped him relax in different ways, always trying to help. David thought Dirk was too good for him. 

Eventually David became a little more adjusted to the change, except sometimes his lip would quiver from the withdrawal; he hated it. But it was for Dirk so he kept trucking on. But as weeks turned to months, David got itchy again. He had gotten a pack of cigarettes about a month ago, and always carried it around with him but never smoked it. When he was gone for a couple weeks for shooting, he considered taking one _just one_ cigarette to smoke; after all it wasn’t like Dirk was there to know. But there were still too many people around, too many people to see, or notice, and people talk. So he held off. But that took its own toll. 

He had just gotten back from shooting, and Dirk was still in school and wouldn’t be home for a few hours. That gave enough time for David to go back to his usual smoking spot on the roof and finally chill, with enough time to take a shower, brush his teeth, and hide his clothes before Dirk came back to see. He takes another drag.

Fuck did it feel good.

He gets the feeling that he never really appreciates the outdoors like he does when he’s smoking, ironically enough. He’s almost shaking with who knows what, and he resolves it with another inhale of the smoke. The smell was even comforting to him, Dirk thought it was gross, but it reminded David of younger happier times with people and places he missed. He had enough money to go anywhere in the world, and take Dirk with him, but he couldn’t go to the past. He chuckles at the cliche thought. 

He stubs out what’s left of the first cigarette and lights up another, the flick of his lighter covering the creaking of a door. With each breath David takes, the more he falls back into his old pattern; breathing, smelling, reminiscing, planning, meditating, breathing. It was a really nice day today, maybe he’ll take Dirk out to a fancy dinner later, someplace with a patio that has a lot of plants or whatever. 

“Didn’t realize today was a half-day at school?”

David freezes completely, well except for the residual shaking of finally smoking again. He doesn’t turn back to look at Dirk.

“Come on, snub it out.”

His fingers twitch but he doesn’t move. What? He just started this one, like he’s gonna waste the rest of the cigarette yeah no. At least let him finish this.

“David.”

But of course Dirk knows what he’s thinking, and that tone Does Not sound good. So David sighs, stands, and stamps the poor cigarette out. Sorry bud. 

“Don’t you have something to say?”

David keeps his lips shut tight, not trusting his voice. It feels like an anvil just fell on him, his body pressing towards the ground, and heavy weight in his chest and shoulders. This feels even worse than the times he snapped at Dirk. 

“Not even going to look at me?”

No, it’s just too painful. He doesn’t want to see Dirk’s face, to see how disappointed and probably how furious he is. David is sure Dirk hates him now.

But the hand that lands on his shoulder is surprisingly gentle, making David look up.

Dirk is beside him, his brows all furrowed and a frown tugging at his lips, but what’s worse are his eyes. Dirk has his sunglasses tucked on his jeans, so his eyes show David exactly how he feels, and it’s the worst. Even worse than hate. David sees _forgiveness_.

He should apologize, admit that he fucked up, but what comes out of his stupid mouth is,

“Didn’t even let me finish at least that one?”

He’s the dumbest idiot alive, honestly. 

Dirk glares a moment, and gives David’s shoulder a light shove.

“David, I thought you were doing well.”

David doesn’t talk again, he just bows his head and looks at the ground; huh, his shoelaces are untied. He flinches when fingers brush across his temple, but allows Dirk to take his sunglasses off. Only now does he realize how watery his eyes are when he flicks a glance back up to Dirk, naked eyes meeting equally naked eyes for a moment, before looking back at the ground.

“What did we agree to whenever you felt the urge for a smoke?”

“I’d tell you.”

“Exactly. So why didn’t you?”

“You were in school.”

“Then text me!”

“Finals are soon, aren’t they?”

“Bro, I’m shaping up as valedictorian of my class. You think I give a shit if I stop paying attention in class because you need help?”

“Don’t wanna impede that A+ education of yours.”

“You know better than anyone else how much smarter I am than the other jackasses there.”

It’s true, David knows that Dirk is probably going to have multiple PhD’s under his belt someday. He’s really proud of his brother. 

“David look at me.”

And he does. It hurts, but he holds the gaze.

“You’re not going to beat this without help. And this probably won’t be the first time you sneak one, okay? That’s why I’m here to help you stay on track when you do.”

“I’m not your responsibilit-”

“You were the second I fell in love with you David. And it’s okay. _Please_ rely on me to help you.”

He looks desperate, shit. It’s the last straw before David quickly clutches onto Dirk and takes him into tight embrace. He grasps onto Dirks shirt and buries his face into his neck, his voice muffled.

“M’sorry.”

“I know. It’s okay, I’ve got you Bro. I love you”

“Love you too, Dirk.”

Dirk holds on equally as tight.


End file.
